Just a boy


Storms and riderless horses and ice ages whilst the curvy girls scowl at the flat chested girls + yet I’m not watching just drinking as the sun burns my pale skin + It’s not that I’m scared of dying it’s just that I don’t want to know the truth because I already know and it’s not the truth I’m looking for + You put your lipstick on whilst looking in the mirror and you like what you see and with all that gorgeous hair and those big pretty eyes what’s not to like + I always enjoyed grabbing hold of your breasts and pinching your nipples then kissing your mouth from behind because it was the only thing that ever seemed to matter + It’s not that I’ve changed it’s just that I’ve stopped caring about everything that doesn’t mean a thing and that’s a whole lot of stuff that now holds no meaning + You know where to find me if you need me but that’s not true because I’m not the same and here isn’t here anymore it’s somewhere else in a place you’ll never think of looking + I miss sin and all that it brings + I miss screwing and watching the clouds so breathlessly as somewhere unseen the angels dance with all the ghosts I’ve ever created + It’s not that I’m insane it’s just that I never grew up + Never saw the point + It’s all about magic and darkness and freedom mixed with love and the terror of all those monsters beneath the bed just waiting to take me in the middle of the night + Engaged yet never married no kids either and no good job because the only job that matters is searching for all that remains hidden + I write but they say it isn’t enough yet I don’t believe them + They can’t see the things that I see for if they did they would cut out their eyes + It drives me mad when I see you not with me because you belong to me and no one else + We belong in bed all day long fucking beneath a billion boiling suns as the days escape and everyone drowns in boredom and useless questions + All those dried up rivers and killers of policeman and jumpers from buildings ready to fall into the gates of hell the likes of which we’ve never seen + I was drowning for so long but now none of it matters as long as I embrace the insanity of faith and belief and dreams that sweat out of me like the lust you gave me by touching all the right places + I know it’s only flesh but flesh is more than enough in a moment of frenzied desire when the nights are too hot to be spent sleeping + If it doesn’t make sense then you’ll see my face dissolving on the horizon as we prepare to take control + Park the car by the side of the road and kiss me + Don’t say a word + just give me your smile and let me kiss those lips + Breathe in + Breathe out + Repeat sometime more.

7 replies »

  1. Reading your words is like taking a drive with a good friend in the summer with the top down and no destination in mind. There is comfort and intimacy with stark reality.

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