Pretty On The Inside

girl

Under a grey sky with clouds so suffocating, the scent of cigarette smoke rises unseen. So dirty and familiar, it calls my name. Rain falling heavy. People rushing back and forth. It’s romantic and sad at the same time. Melancholy, a feeling only the lonely will ever know. The birds fly but are never free, and somewhere in the witching hours, a parade snakes its way around the town. There have been so many lows and just as many highs. Love cuts deep. Boredom drains. Too much useless guilt. Too many wasted days. Look for beauty in the mundane. Find it hidden away. Others claw for stardom. They’ll do anything they can to fit in and taste acceptance, but beauty isn’t to be found there. Beauty belongs to tender hearts. It blossoms in the shadows, shining brightly in silence. Be quiet, and just hold on. Humans, always wanting to cling. So desperate to be found. Performing empty acts, we hope so much that someone will find us. We pray that someone will show some kindness and take us under their wings. Compassion is what our tears taste of. Desire and trembling hands so frail when no one knows how we feel. Mute bodies of indecision, spending days in bed not wanting to move. The sheets so safe. These nests we make. Reflections brutal. We feel unreal. Everyone else knows how to be. They seem so confident, and yet we can barely dress without breaking down in despair. Mouth so dry. No appetite, only lethargy. Drink to pass the evenings, and to escape from confessing. Try to lose yourself, but the deeper you go, the more lost you become. The abyss has no exit signs. The only way out is through. Beauty. So delicate and entrancing. So pure in the lonely hours when no one else is around. A smile so simple in spite of it all. A gesture from the heart, when others were too busy chasing ghosts. Illuminate, and spread the light to those who need it most. Be sincere. Don’t throw it away out of spite. Don’t leave it to be forgotten, for tomorrow it might be gone. Life’s too short. Missed opportunities, never letting you forget. Speak a gentle language. Stand inside your love, and don’t be afraid. When the world stops turning, be thankful for the hours. All those fleeting hours, when you just about managed to catch your breath. Preach forgiveness, and live to tell the tale of the moment you found your soul. The road is long. But salvation is out there. Pretty on the inside. A shooting star for sure.

11 replies »

  1. This is the most hopeful thing you’ve written in ages, isn’t it? This one is just like a beacon…usually hope is hiding, wrapped in layers of darkness and it has to be teased out… but not so here…surprising…it makes me feel like you’re in a good place 🙂 x

    • I’m glad you liked this one. Things have been a bit less stressful my end, so yeah, I guess more hope is always a good thing. Sometimes it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what it feels like to be against it all. Once or twice it’s just nice to be carefree 🙂 x

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