Honey the cat was hanging around work today, so I purchased a sausage from the canteen and gave it to her as a treat. Taking it outside to the smoking shelter, I tore it in half and waited for her while sipping a cup of tea and having a smoke. Appearing a few minutes later, she ran to me from behind a tree and was rewarded for her efforts. Sinking her teeth in, she drooled all over my fingers as I fed it to her by hand. She enjoyed it tremendously; I only hope it didn’t make her sick after. These early starts are disagreeable to me, yet there are worse things in life, so I won’t moan. But still, waking up at 4:30 am? That’s the time I’ve spent most of my life going to bed. Every other fucker on the street is asleep, and I’m stumbling around trying to get ready for work in ten minutes flat. Still, it pays the bills. The other day I overslept by two hours; it was amazing. Waking refreshed without a hangover is a novelty to me, and I don’t think they’ll ever be a day when it wears off. Work on ‘Damned Lovers’ is taking shape nicely, and the editing period is rewarding. Sitting at 90k words, it’s tight and purposeful, and when it comes out it should be a solid read. Maybe I’ll carry a copy around with me and thrust it into the faces of beautiful women and beg them to sleep with me. I don’t think I’ll have much success, but I’m sure there’s always an outside chance. Not that my motivation for writing has anything to do with getting laid, but, y’know, I’m just a beast like the rest of them. I’ve been thinking a lot about the novel recently as well. Haven’t touched the thing in the five months since editing begun on the journal, but I sense it’s nearly time to pick it up again. I’m a different person from the one that worked on it before. My rage is no less potent, but it’s more focused than it used to be. There’s been a change in me this past year. My ability to work the word has improved, and so has my understanding of what it takes to reach people. I’m still a failure, but less so than I’m used to being. Others have tried persuading me to leave my writing behind, to push me in the direction of social acceptance, but I’m glad I never listened. Such a stupid fool I know, but I’m honest and free, and that’s all I want.