No apologies, just a goodbye fuck to ease the boredom of our boring lives. When it’s over, I go to the bathroom while she wipes herself clean before messaging some guy she knows. Leaning over the sink, I wash my cock with the shower nozzle and then dab it dry with some tissue. It hurts, but there’s no blood, so it’s okay. Creeping out onto the landing, I press my ear against the door and hear her talking on her phone. She’s a desperate creature. She begs and pretends to be sincere, and after a while, she convinces the guy on the other end to pick her up. It embarrasses me. Her desperation, and my weakness at being driven by the dreary thing that dangles between my legs. To be human, it’s such an illness. Such an unfortunate ailment for the soul to endure. My soul, it’s a thousand years old in a body that’s known mere decades. It begs for release, and yet this soft machine is a curse that can’t be overcome by willpower alone. Stepping back into the room, she lowers the phone and brings the duvet up to cover her breasts. Just a few minutes earlier, I was sucking them while shoving my fingers into her mouth. Begging me to be gentle, she had gasped and gasped again as I went about biting her as hard as I could, and then she had relented and let me have what I wanted. Now, now she tells me to turn my head as she fetches her bra from the bedroom floor before slipping it on along with the rest of her outfit. It’s all so laughable, and I’m tempted to make a comment. To say something that will cut her to pieces, but she’s only lashing out the same as me, the only difference is that she uses her body while I use words. Those empty, empty words that seem to get me nowhere at all.
A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.co.uk
A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.com
Categories: Lucid
So fucking painful. So fucking true. Weakness that becomes so strong we can’t overcome until we give in and then the self-loathing comes roaring back to haunt the dark-eyed soul again.
The games we play, and the dirty reasons why we play them.
It’s loathsome circle, and one that many should seek to break but never do.
Those pent up feelings will eventually come out one way or another, and it’s best, that we all find a better outlet that doesn’t hurt our selves or others doing it…
Yes, most definitely. The longer we hide away our truths, the more damage it does to everyone.
Beautifully written in your own inimitable style!
Thank you, my friend. I hope you had yourself a lovely birthday 🙂
Oh this.
It’s written so incredibly.
Thank you.
That’s very touching of you to say.
ive made this same comment before, but i just want to say again that these are all fucking great. im reading your first book now and its just as beautiful and sad and brilliant. good work
I really do appreciate that, my friend. And thank you ever so much for picking up a copy of the first journal. That’s really made my day. I hope you enjoy reading it through to the end.
im sure i will. thanks
🙂