The restaurant’s full to bursting but I booked us a table days ago so in we waltz drunk and brash and hating everyone because that’s how we roll. The waiter shows us to our seats and I eye him up with disdain, even more so when I see him admiring her tattoos. What a fuck. Taking off my coat, I rest it on the back of my chair and she sits down shaking her head at my petty jealousy. Coming back with some menus, the slick rick waiter hands her one and she deliberately flirts with him and he flirts back. When he hands me mine, I look at him as if he were trash. He is trash, I tell her, he’s a trashy pervert, and if he leers at you again, I’ll knock his block off. I won’t, of course. The guy’s twice the size of me, and I’m a coward, and this she knows, which is why she’s rolling her eyes as she so often does. We order a beer each and some soup. My balls are itchy and I can’t stop fiddling with myself. Squirming in my seat, she snorts with laughter and her eyes widen at my discomfort. Before we came out, she made me stand before her in the nude while she got down on her knees and took a pair of clippers to me. Delicately trimming my balls, she kept pretending to jolt her hand causing me to cuss her while trying to roll a cigarette. Normally she doesn’t like me shaved, but she said it would be good for me to have a fresh start. I think she just wanted to humiliate me, but humiliation is what turns us on, so who am I to complain. To shave her clean is a treat indeed, and to part her legs and taste birth and death or whatever it is while listening to music and hangover like shit is what I look forward to most. Nothing else. Not writing. Not art. Just tasting her at her most natural. I’m having steak. Medium rare, she declares. Nodding at me satisfied with her choice, she awaits mine. Stroking my chin, I look across the table at her and admire the way the top of her breasts glow in the light shining down on us from above. Her top lip raises, and then her right eyebrow. Leaning forwards to pick up the salt, she lets me see what she’s got, and the sight of her is enough to make me itch even more.