Anxiety
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The last time I wrote anything was over fifteen months ago. Since then, I became obsessed with the ghost of my ex-girlfriend, got engaged to another, lost our baby, and left my place of residence for the last eight years. There are too many lonely roads and too much death. My next door neighbour died… Read more
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The same time comes around each evening. A little music, a few beers. The words flowing, sometimes good, sometimes bad. Visions of leaping lovers who gave up on the world. Their faces forever frozen, I still can’t figure out if they were happy or sad when the world they raced towards was the world they… Read more
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I should write again. It’s been six months now. Sometimes, though, it’s just easier to sleep and do nothing. I love falling asleep. Those thoughts I drift away with. Memories, fantasies. My body aches, and I’m always tired. I feel like I’m empty, but when the sun comes out, I’ll open my window and feel… Read more
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The days disappear. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I don’t look any older, yet I know I am. Thirty-one years, gone. Thousands of days escaped, along with thousands of dreams. With nothing to show except regret, there are times when it all gets too much. Writing. Love. The taste of beer as… Read more
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Lark rising. Sunday school. My second face twisted, a contorted mess of strange desires. On the steps of some holiday home. Blurred photos, and rivers running red. Shopping malls, flooded. Wine and cat whiskers. She caught me drinking milk from a saucer, and I wasn’t even drunk. Sloping roads, and books to be read regarding… Read more
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Strange music as her diet of sunlight leaves me feeling empty. Breast cancer for beginners. I’m doing the best I can; only there comes a point when my best isn’t good enough. Drinking tea while sat in the garden wishing for a tsunami to wipe us all away. No words, for words just don’t… Read more
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Loneliness and Shakespeare. Aching balls and funeral marches, from one lover to the next. Picking out veins then slipping them into the kitchen sink, they bleed without reason. Shaking hands and blowjobs. The need to be seen, and the need to feel real. I require neither. To be as far removed as possible. To… Read more
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Stress rash as the hours disappear out of reach. Dreams of glory whilst living the life of no one. Sucking on a cigarette as anxiety forces my hand to write words that aren’t forthcoming. All that was needed was sleep, yet the mind has final say. Boring lovers, not really lovers. Romance the same, they… Read more
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Sometime today, a jet crashed onto a motorway killing several people, yet all I can do is wonder what she looks like with no clothes on. Plunging from the sky and exploding into a ball of fire, those driving were snuffed out in a mess of flames and crunched steel. Plumes of smoke as… Read more
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Spitting blood into the toilet, I inspect my teeth, but none are loose. Pissing to drown everything around me, the ache in my lower back is momentary. Acid reflux and the landscape of nude women that wave from afar. Night sky so shiny as you smile like you don’t know who I am. Elevate… Read more
Author S. K. Nicholas 