Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • Pinch My Skin

    With my arm around her waist, I take her further along the sidewalk. Hachikō, in search of some mysterious new scent, is, in turn, leading me. Running this way and that, his chain continually wraps around our legs, causing us to trip. I’m somewhat annoyed but daren’t say anything for fear of putting a dampener… Read more

  • Sick on Your Shoes

    Her puke hits the ground and splatters my shoes. As it does, I look to the sky and exhale. There are many things in this life that I can’t abide, and puke is right at the top of the list. Spiders are on there, and wasps, not to mention my fear of deep water and… Read more

  • Through the Pines

    Peeking through the pines, I see there are many signs that signal a descent. Hours later, and streetlights are casting shapes at my feet that remind me of the small, perfect mouth of my first lover. My first lover came to me in a dream. I was four, maybe five, and in my old childhood… Read more

  • Less Like Heaven

    Gripping the lead tightly in my right hand, I pull Hachikō close behind me. With my left, I reach out to touch her back as she dry heaves in the gutter. It seems the smell and sight of his shit was too much for her to bear. I’m hoping she’s okay, not least in part… Read more

  • Foul Little Beast

    “Oh, you foul little beast!” she cries. Not quite knowing what’s going on, I look around in a state of bewilderment making to touch her arm. As my fingers glide across the bony flesh of her elbow, she turns to me with a look of horror on her face. For a second, I think it’s… Read more

  • The Bowels of Existential Musings

    Hachikō makes a mad dash for it, but with a snap of the lead, she pulls him back. The day grows old, and while the sun still shines, the heat from its searching rays is diminished. The sky is sepia; as sepia as the buildings that flow over the horizon to foreign lands of which… Read more

  • Husk

    I sleep on the floor, like so many times before. In search of an escape, I break apart so I may squeeze what’s left of me through the slithers of light that isn’t light at all but the memories of what once was. I am a streetlight. I am a coffin. Talking of memories, the… Read more

  • Sulk

    Lifting me to my feet, she pats me down and combs my curly head of hair. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to do anything other than drink my beer and take photos of her body. Not of her—just of her body. I want it to fuel my seedy obsessions regarding the… Read more

  • As You Wish

    “Don’t swear at me, I was only trying to do good. You don’t want our Hachikō having bad breath, do you? Or worse still, suffering from the unimaginable terrors of gum disease?” “You blow my mind sometimes,” I reply. Rubbing my eyes, I grunt and slide down the chair. “You’re such a drama queen,” she… Read more

  • An Innocent Smile

    Sensing he’s been insulted, the dog lets out a huff. “Don’t worry, boy, I love you,” I tell him. “Oh,” she says, “you tell a stray dog that you love him, but not your own fiancée. Doesn’t that make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.” “Come off it,” I reply, “I always… Read more