Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • Infantile

      The clock strikes twelve and daylight greets a splintered mind that should know better. Bodies flicker in and out of existence, and as a cup of tea takes the sting out of what’s become a habit I can’t seem to shift, the words of a girl who used to be a lover ring in… Read more

  • YouTube: Spiders/Fear of Flying/Beards/Jesus/Stuff/ Swimming

        Made a video. A video of digressions. From a fear of spiders and flying, to visits to childhood swimming pools and the place where Jesus was born. There’s also talk about unrequited love, being rubbish with women, and my lacklustre beard and the subsequent rage it’s instilled in me. I sniff a new book… Read more

  • Cemented Shoes

      Gravestones and shaking hands and the music of ages that kiss your lips as you stand there waiting for the taxi to take you away from the stench of disinfectant and decay. Illness and stranded lives and neglected dogs hiding in a block of deserted garages overgrown with weeds and stained with ancient oil… Read more

  • Murk Girl

      Cracked skin around your fingers that bleed and bleed until you suck each one like a toddler. It’s too cold. It always is in this country, but there’s no point in moaning so you keep on sucking and wincing because if you moan, you’ll end up as dead as the rest. The rings around… Read more

  • Night Cafe

      Beer collects on the hairs of my upper lip, and so I stick out my tongue and suck the beads down as a treat. Feeling giddy, I picture her in the nude and in particular, the shape of her breasts and the touch of her nipples upon the tips of my itchy fingers. Those… Read more

  • Visions

      Stayed in bed for most of the day watching all of the Final Destination films while trying to remember what number bus I used to ride with my nan and grandad when we travelled between Luton and St Albans to visit my great-grandmother. Guess I could’ve Googled it, but meh. There were bluebells on the way… Read more

  • Mother

      She touches herself to a soundtrack of screaming babies and the noises horses make when their bellies get cut open. You know, like those ones in the war that were attacked by dogs that ripped out their entrails thinking they were gonna get a treat of sausages covered in gravy. I made that last… Read more

  • YouTube: Memories/Love/Haircuts/Two Readings

      Made a video. There are two readings of pieces taken from the second volume of A Journal for Damned Lovers, as well as talk about my current writing process. I ramble for a bit as well and talk about cutting-edge topics like spiders and haircuts and stuff. It’s a tight twenty minutes as well, so… Read more

  • Sleepers

    The cigarette sits perched on an empty can of beer. She looks at it, looks at the ceiling, looks back to the cigarette, then closes her eyes and falls asleep. Her bra smells of milk. She hasn’t taken it off in days. Can’t be bothered. No energy. No desire. I’m in the shower masturbating. There’s… Read more

  • Netherworld

      Sad songs. Yeah, you take the sad songs and slide them in your lover and make them better. Right? You kiss them and touch their bits and squeeze them all over and things blossom and your lover comes into bloom like never before. Right? Those bright lights, how they float around your head like… Read more