
As sheβs lying on her side recalling the faces of everyone sheβs ever slept with, Iβm stood looking out the window imagining what it would feel like to be on the other side of the horizon. All those lights that shimmer as theyβve done so many times over the years, and not once have I taken the plunge to see where they could lead. Watching over her as she struggles with her neurosis, Iβm tempted to offer sympathy, but I let her suffer in silence. Such cruelty when compassion and forgiveness are needed most, but her sins are none of my concern. Opening the window and sticking my head out, the evening air is warm and balmy. With empty streets touching the darkened sky in every direction, things are much the same as theyβve always been, only now Iβm more focused on what matters most. Others come and go, and although they have a way of touching my heart, they donβt touch me like they used to. People are bemusing, and the more I understand them, the less they mean to me. Lighting a smoke while hunched up as far away from her as possible, the starβs glisten like grains of sand, and thatβs pretty much what they are. Itβs what we all are. Just pieces of dust. How is it possible to attribute meaning to such a meaningless existence? How can we feel as if weβre achieving something when we know so little about whatβs out there? Imagining a future where I become untethered from all that ties me to this place, a wry smile runs across my dry and broken lips.

Leave a reply to All ofΒ Me β S.K.Nicholas – 3mmablog Cancel reply