Journal
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They diagnosed my father with cancer today. He told me calmly. His voice strong, his body a little weaker than it had been a few months ago. It’s in his mouth, a tumour he at first thought was an ulcer. It hasn’t spread, but it’s there. That’s what forty cigarettes a day for three decades Read more
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They breed us in factories and office spaces. They tell us what to enjoy- what a life is meant to resemble. All those walking disasters in love with the opulence of their existence. Drown them before it’s too late. Put them out of their misery before I choke on the fumes of their indignity. Read more
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From a heavenly plateau to the wastelands down the back of the sofa. Finding cheap gold to afford energy drinks and wine at the sacrifice of eating food. Those days when to drink was more important than my own health. Those days of autumn wonders. Leaves and snow as you stood there not knowing the Read more
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Should be strong. Should be calm and serene, yet this mess of a man is anything but. Wish I could be natural, but the words fail me. Just want to be safe. Just want someone to wrap their arms around this broken mind and body. Keep me from harm. Save me from drowning in endless Read more
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Drinking beer while rain pisses down outside. Eating rice noodles and pretending it’s the end of the world. I want to be utterly alone- to swim in the pleasures of solitude. My bed contains all of my fears. It cuts me into pieces every time I fall asleep. Stomach cramps and indigestion. Interstellar boredom as Read more
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The same faces. The same place. A drunken man falls into a pram. The mother too busy sucking on a cigarette not noticing as the drunk pukes all over her baby. Schoolgirls babbling as schoolboys make inane noises whilst throwing litter over dead flowers. Traffic stationary. Trees bending in the wind as somewhere far away Read more
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You can’t change the world, just the same as you can’t change time. These feelings come and go. From despair to wonder in the blink of a lazy eye. Sullen like an only child in the midst of the witching hour. As lonesome as a shadow on the wall. When the rain falls outside, Read more
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I’m sat in the corner of the room looking at myself. A dark shadow hangs over me. The world rages unseen. The troubles that occur with the turning of a clock. Behaviour fails when enjoyment makes way for routine. The day to day bullshit of trading dreams for normality. This life is too bland. Originality Read more
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If you stop dreaming then you’re as good as dead. All the useless ones with their heads buried in fickle currency. Whatever you do, don’t become like them. When you lose grip on the madness, you fade away. Only bones covered in pretend flesh are left. Condemned to be a brick in a wall taller Read more
Author S. K. Nicholas 