Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • Release

      There’s fried chicken and then a cigarette stood in the doorway of a store that’s been empty for years. Yet again it’s pissing it down, and even though I keep trying to rise above it, failure and the end are in every shadow. The streets are empty as they always are. The parks and… Read more

  • The Absence of You

      In some fast food joint in the centre of town, I eat a burger and chips while looking up your Instagram profile on my phone. Those around me are discussing the film they’ve just seen, but I’m outside of their conversation. Looking at you on the broken screen of my Samsung, I smile at your… Read more

  • Little Man

      Darting from car to car, she scampers around in the darkness avoiding my best efforts at finding her. It’s pissing down with rain, and if she doesn’t come in soon, she’ll be soaked and will catch a cold. But we’ve argued, and she’s staying out to prove a point. She caught me looking at… Read more

  • Sirens

      When the birds outside sing their songs and you play around with what you’ve got, the music kicks in and I forget how to speak and how to think. What’s your name? What do you look like? As I drink a few beers and roll a cigarette, you flicker in and out of existence… Read more

  • Stars but No Heaven

      There are muted voices from the other side of the door and a glimpse through the keyhole of her body. Yeah, that body, the one that sings to me in the dead of night causing me to wake and light a cigarette with trembling hands. Behind the door, there are lifeforms that resemble my… Read more

  • Sleep Forever

      There are dark clouds in the sky. Prussian blue in colour, they swirl above my head as your image dances further down the street. In the breeze, there’s the faint hum of music coming from a park over on the other side of town. The smell of chips makes me lick my lips, as… Read more

  • Fugue State

      There’s a row of sycamore trees and your hand is in mine. It’s just after eleven and there’s so much to say but the silence that rings out between us is more than enough somehow. No words, just the warmth of our flesh as we walk down streets we haven’t passed through since we were… Read more

  • Cigarettes After Sex

      Giving a poll dance to the stars, she kicks and screams before falling into my arms. Short skirt. Black tights. Legs like scissors. Arms like wings, wings that swoop through the air with each feather like a knife to my throat as she forces the words right out of me. As I spit and… Read more

  • Gates of Janus

      All around me are rocks and winding fields, and as mud creeps from my shoes up to my trousers, the wind pushes me this way and that. With no one else about, I’m at one with nature, and although it annoys me knowing I’m so small, to be natural in a world of machines… Read more

  • Absent Lovers

      Taking a pinch of tobacco and rolling a cigarette, I chew my fingernails as she rests her head in my lap. In this cage of flesh and bone, I try to defuse my erection but she keeps prodding her fingers keeping me in a state of heightened awareness. On the wall, above the TV,… Read more