Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  •   It’s raining, and masturbation brings little relief, nor does the presence of others. Sex is a weapon. An impulse that shames. Stuck between the horrors of nature and man, there’s only addiction and cancer. Borderline Personality Disorder as puddles form in the middle of the road. Sometimes it feels as though people are worth… Read more

  • Pretty On The Inside

    Under a grey sky with clouds so suffocating, the scent of cigarette smoke rises unseen. So dirty and familiar, it calls my name. Rain falling heavy. People rushing back and forth. It’s romantic and sad at the same time. Melancholy, a feeling only the lonely will ever know. The birds fly but are never free,… Read more

  • Anxiety Is Freedom

    The sound of church bells mixed with Autumn sunshine. The sky endless as bodies rejoice. Floating in baths of warm sand, they’re neither here nor there. Books full of words that know nothing of defeat. Silence golden, just like the limbs of a lover. Riddles in the clouds. Symbols drawn on saddened shells. Drink milk… Read more

  • Damned Lovers

      The urge came about to take a break from writing. Maybe nail it on the head for a month. Working forty hours a week and writing for another thirty drains the life out of me. It’s what I love, but as the winter months draw in, being exhausted all the time isn’t my idea… Read more

  • Six-Second-Hand-Job

      Cute Japanese girl. English wallflower. Milky lover, sometimes a mother. Fear of water. Fear of wombs. Big eyes and cinema expectation. New York City on her vulva as the revolver in my hand glistens in the rain. Sweetness to ease the weakness as the moon sinks into the lake that drowned your sister. Rapists… Read more

  • Our Way Back Home

      There’s something that persists, and despite the years that have been and gone, my thirst for it hasn’t diminished. Despite the aging of my bones and increased tiredness of this mess that calls itself a life, there’s something just out of reach, and no matter how hard I look for it, it keeps itself… Read more

  • Nowhere Fast

      All those you love, and all those you hate, dancing behind closed eyes. I’m not happy, and I’m not sad, I’m just waiting for the day when my words fall into place. One day, you’ll walk into my life, and I’ll walk into yours. Others settle for second best, but I’ll have nothing of… Read more

  • Electric Bitch

    She sweats dead galaxies through the pores in her nose. She takes off her socks slowly, and as the smoke from my cigarette carries through the window, there’s no way of knowing how this will end. A car crashes through a wormhole she planted with our first kiss. Leaves and trees where once there was… Read more

  • Chemical Lovers

      Those nights of madness, of music and wine as rain pissed down outside. Those thoughts that couldn’t be contained as my mind raged like a phantom. Take me back to when my blood boiled at the merest mention of his name, and let me remember the fantasies that did their best to ruin me.… Read more

  • Stay Beautiful

    In the humdrum hours when the faces around me become wallpaper, there’s little to get excited about. The banality of other souls; when the sex on display is nothing more than cheap glitter. It weighs heavy on my heart that the things that give others pleasure make me feel nothing but alienated. The drives and… Read more