Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Depression

  • Under The Skin

    English fears and English desperation. Silence among the empty buildings that litter every high street. Traffic jams outside shopping malls on dull, Sunday afternoons. It rains while the insects go about their daily chores consumed by mediocrity. Cemeteries, disused roads, and trash on every corner. Flashing lights beneath clouds the shape of her swollen belly.… Read more

  • Keep Breathing

    Make your own decisions. Keep going despite the unknowing voices that try to steer you away from the sun. Take control of those flashes of brilliance. Let them burn like wild fire on the plains of desolate cities. Through the thick and thin, there’s no other feeling that comes close. Do what you know. On… Read more

  • Hidden Depths

    Daylight leaks through the window. Bottles of empty promises at the foot of a cold bed. Cigarettes stubbed out on books, and the stench of stale air blanketing pale skin. Time out of hand, the morning drowns all hope. Nausea and regret on her trembling lips, she’s just a girl of little consequence. Painted fingernails… Read more

  • 5am On a Train to Purgatory Island

    They sit around not knowing. They gaze at their wrapped sandwiches feeling as though they used to be alive. The ones that wear suits are no better. They try and pretend but I can see in their faces that they don’t have a clue. Images can’t cover truth. A desperate sense of longing will always… Read more

  • Into the Night

    The nights burn, and the mornings drown. All those discoveries made in drunken seas of creation, forever lost the minute my eyes open to face another day. The lonesome hours of the evening take me on a journey. They show me things others can’t fathom. The stars in the sky watch as my body dissolves… Read more

  • Girl

    Piss stains on expensive carpets. Autumn leaves turned to dust between pages of explicit literature. Light a cigarette, stub it out. Masturbate to the sound of storms whilst stray cats drown in watery chasms. Smile at old photographs as your father sleeps the night away in dreams of cancer. The radiator leaks and drips water… Read more

  • Come Crashing Down

      Be prepared for hangovers that last a lifetime. Dreaming or living, I haven’t yet decided. Lost in fields of sunflowers, her body shimmers like a glass staircase to the moon. As a cigarette falls from my fingers, thoughts of her dance in my reckless mind as a dirge of hipsters push their way to… Read more

  • Useless Generation

      Smokers hunched over cancer sticks in the rain. Women with bodies boundless in heat. Eyes searching, they connect and seek what they want. They covet, as do I. My illness hidden until it’s too late; I let them in and make them dance to my tune. Their features smeared upon cracked mirrors; the night… Read more

  • Dream Lover

      Blankets consisting of cigarette burns. Dyslexic intent as she crawls deformed at the foot of my bed. So real despite the dawn of time that knows no end as my hand slides up her delicate skirt. A handful of hair as she pushes herself against my hips, the moon appears through the window with a… Read more

  • Still

      These days of struggle. These hours of intent. In my room, I write. There are no amazing accolades. There is no money. My novel still a work in progress. So many years have I taken to arrive at this point, and still I’m only at the beginning. Doubt plagues me every day. I’m not… Read more