Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Fear

  • One Of Your Own

    Godless like a blowjob on the outskirts of a dirty town. Smeared mirrors on stained walls. A father kills his daughter. Breaks her teeth then tries to glue them back in. Throttled and betrayed. Purchased like cattle, and then slaughtered through ugliness. We the people, so dirty on the inside. Dress it up the best Read more

  • What’s Going On

    She bleeds in her broken heart. She feels the hand of death between her tender legs with the ticking of every clock. Imploding with each breath, she clutches the ghost of her ex lover whilst trying so hard not to drown. All those ships sinking at sea. All those hands reaching up through the waves Read more

  • Honey In The Sun

    A vision of something else. A vision of something more. How the years have rolled by like thunder. How they’ve got behind me like a thousand faces with names I can’t remember. Love comes and goes. Feelings and sensations lost like money in a bar on a crowded Saturday night. All that alcohol. Those myriad Read more

  • Smile

      I didn’t do much this weekend. Didn’t even change my clothes. Sat there reading and smoking; the larks called to me, but I ignored them. My dad was sprawled out on his bed upstairs. The cancer hasn’t spread, so there’s no need to remove half his face. His back troubles him, however, and reduces Read more

  • Come Down

    The guy at the gas station hasn’t seen me in a week. He doesn’t know I’ve been on holiday. I didn’t tell him, and he doesn’t ask, but something in our mutual gaze explains it all. He leans on the counter watching the traffic as I enter. He’s bored, and with a not so intelligent Read more

  • Life

    They diagnosed my father with cancer today. He told me calmly. His voice strong, his body a little weaker than it had been a few months ago. It’s in his mouth, a tumour he at first thought was an ulcer. It hasn’t spread, but it’s there. That’s what forty cigarettes a day for three decades Read more

  • Just This Once

    Things that fall out of reach. A lovers smile misplaced like car keys before the daily slog into work. Being as though I don’t drive, I’ve no idea what that feels like, but I imagine it’s as pointless as everything else. Burn your calenders. Rip out the pages of your diary and stuff them down Read more

  • Dirty Heart

      The future is an open wound. It’s a wasp crawling up your arm on a warm summers day. In fields of golden corn and sunflowers, she evades my gaze yet her body itches for my touch. The absent lover, always creeping in the shadows. Dormant for so long, it’s so easy to be passive, Read more

  • Always Dragging You Down

    It just comes out all wrong. My love and fear in a raging maelstrom with no answers on either side of the thin line we call life. He knows that this could be it, yet neither of us have the words to express what it all means. Caged by death, we try so hard to Read more

  • Waltz

    A dove white dress. A body adorned with bees. Exotic like a photographer. So cute and abnormal as the lens replaces your doe-eyed smile. Such a tight body. Such delicate skin just waiting to be soiled at the hands of this joyful ol’ ruiner. The taste of your lips in the rain. The shape of Read more