Time After Time

natalia-figueredo-373415

Time keeps slipping away, but I kiss your brown eyes all the same. Time keeps dissolving, and I blame you for everything, but still, I want you the same as I always have done. With one foot in the past and the other in the future, I was reading about the nature of the universe on Wikipedia. The size of the observable universe, in particular, was my first destination. And then came a list of the most massive supervoids followed by the time it takes for light to reach us from those distant galaxies I always bang on about. It got me so overwhelmed that at one point I had to stop and light a cigarette and think of your smile to steady myself. It’s the perfect smile. The right mix of seduction and sincerity, and it helps ward off the threat of black holes and pulsars, which is even better. And yet still… Just thinking of those billions upon billions of light years makes me giddy. It reminds me of being a child, and when my dad bought me a telescope. There was a time whenever he picked up a pack of smokes- Embassy Filters if you must know– that he’d get these coupons inside, and when he saved up enough, he’d treat me and my mum to whatever we wanted from a catalogue he would send off for. So I asked for this small, red telescope. God knows what happened to it, but every night after school in the following months I would sit on the windowsill in my bedroom looking up at the stars. Couldn’t see very far. It was a cheap telescope after all, but that’s not the point. The night sky fascinated me. All of those mysteries. Those distant suns. I was told they were already dead, and I was seeing them as they used to be. It was a scary thought. Still is. Time will outlive me, and things will move on, and yet for a few brief moments, I will have dreamed and given myself to strange visions. Visions built around a curious girl who just so happened to walk into my life on a day like any other. Such beauty and loss. Such random little happenings in a universe destined to flow forever more. They give me the strength to carry on. The belief that some things are worth fighting for.

A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.com

24 replies »

      • For me, personally, the antithetical notion of separating myself from my art works better, although my art does parallel my ideas, but I respect and appreciate artists who stay true to themselves. And you’re welcome.

      • I think we all have different techniques and ways of creating our art. That’s what makes each one of us so fascinating in how we go about our journey. It’s the beautiful thing about what we do, isn’ it?

      • It definitely is, although there are times when it can be a little unnerving, because I guess, we judge ourselves as artists, and that’s both a blessing and a curse. But like you said, it’s the journey that matters most. I’m slowly starting to realise it.

  1. Your writing is so captivating Nicholas. Time will outlive me–what a wonderful line and I also love looking at the stars and learning that they died a long ago but left that scintillating memory and puzzle for keeping us entertained and engrossed for many more days to come!

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