Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • Melancholia

    The sense of numbness that comes with the leaving behind of childhood. Morning makes way for afternoon blues. Head ravaged by snot and despaired dreams, the horrors of my soul can be found in the bathroom toilet. Cigarette smoke unleashing the hell of what I am, there’s no joy to be found in the opening… Read more

  • Something in the Way

    something in the way  a brokenness so numb  forever mocking like an enemy  the days go on  they  frustrate  only letting go when sleep comes calling  it’s a damned journey  but the only way out  is through  Read more

  • Totem Poles And Howl’d Howls

    This is not a concept. This frequency is non-operational. Besieged by storms and wild tigers. Defunct machinery, growling as your hands search for the key in the ignition. If we try, we can eat them alive. Wires around your wrists. Rope attached to the back of your car. Drag the lake and find what remains… Read more

  • Heartbreaker

    She sings of depth perception in my viewing lens. She watches as her cigarette bounces in the rain. There’s sadness in her eyes, and untold fire in her belly, and I imagine her lying next to me, sprinkling secrets on my pillow. The shades drawn, she’s hidden in my arms. Soundless shapes, eclipsed by highways… Read more

  • People Fall

    people fall all the time they break down without even knowing they succumb, even when there’s nothing to fear they lose themselves to what isn’t even there these ghosts, they haunt and they taunt for no reason sometimes, all you can do is try to be strong even when you feel so weak inside people… Read more

  • Where I end, You Begin

    And I howled to the moon when the walls of my mind broke down. I howled with despair when everything fell apart, and no one was there to save me. All alone and crumbling like a dead flower. It hurt and it burned. Down and out with nowhere to turn, all that was to be… Read more

  • The Great Attractor

    As long as it exists, your mind will never be free. Burning dogs in Hiroshima. Genital Mutilation on the streets of Amsterdam. Cars buried in snow. Cigarettes perched on the tips of bony fingers. Tasty ripe breasts. Juicy like fruit. In mind and body, we merge like waves. Spinning plates and cloudless highs. Formentera Lady,… Read more

  • Believe In Something Others Can’t Grasp

      Others will sneer, but when you’ve got the soul, nothing else will matter. And what else is there, then having a soul? A sense of purpose. A reason for existing other than to simply make up the numbers. Stand out from the crowd. Be different. Not in appearance, but in visions and beliefs. Make… Read more

  • Passing Always Through The Fire

      too many people  too much junk  a tasteless affair, draining daily  always the same  the shame, of being so different  should just surrender  be like everyone else  but that would surely be a fate worse than death  thin and dreamless  starless like an abyss  gotta keep those dreams burning bright  gotta hold on to… Read more

  • Stained Lovers Passing Always

    Shapeless, bruised skin. Dejected hearts, burning brightly once more. I want nothing to do with love because love is cheap. It’s second hand, riddled with contradictions and hypocrisy. Love is selfish when it should be selfless. Writing gives me all the affection I need. It gives me intimacy, and it gives me magic. Away from… Read more