Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Depression

  • Three Devils On a Park Bench

    Footsteps. Maybe broken ribs. Cigarettes and torn stockings. Blood soaked gums. Stick it in. Smear it real good. Sunken cheekbones. Bows and arrows and heat rays that snatch at our sex as we try to just exist without death always biting at our ankles. Humbled by mosquitoes, my past emits deafening howls. It squashes memory… Read more

  • Faith

      Maybe I’m destined to walk a lonely road until my heart beats its last. Maybe the last laugh is on me. All washed up with no memories to call my own. All bridges burned and no way to get back to where I once belonged. But those times are beyond my grasp now. They… Read more

  • Celestial Despair

    Should be strong. Should be calm and serene, yet this mess of a man is anything but. Wish I could be natural, but the words fail me. Just want to be safe. Just want someone to wrap their arms around this broken mind and body. Keep me from harm. Save me from drowning in endless… Read more

  • A Design For Life

      Obsession. It’s an ugly word. It consumes all. A spark that can’t be seen. A feeling that can never be grasped. I’m lost inside my head, obsessed by imagery that no one else can see. They can’t taste it, nor can they comprehend what it means. Years ago I glimpsed the future. In a… Read more

  • Born to Die

    Black holes and tranquillity. The gravitational pull of thighs. Those slices of time always out of reach. Bridges from my illness to yours. Prise open my chest and stuff it full of virtual highs. Cocaine on dollar bills. Bulimia down the back of the sofa along with a thousand black roses. All that space between… Read more

  • Persistence and Delusion Wrapped Within Pale Skin

      Everything takes so much time, yet persistence I know will be the making of me. If you were to have told me all those years ago that I’d still be working on my novel, I would’ve applauded my commitment- yet I would most probably have groaned at the prospect of having to endure so… Read more

  • The Taste of Your Kiss

    The waves take us down. They show us how to be real. Shiny like a song. Shining like the look of love as the leaves fell upon your restless head. Killing jars and journeys to the forest. Hand in hand as the afternoons escaped to god knows where. It’s in the pretty lines at the… Read more

  • Citizen Insane

    We worship killers and lizards. Pig shooters on the cusp of dawn. Breathtaking displays of impotence. Read the book of the moon and decipher what it means to be alone. Kiss with lips empty. You can travel the world yet you can never escape the person you’re destined to become. Shaped by others and shaped… Read more

  • Minotaur

    All that booze. All those infinite bottles of moderate poison. Beer and cigarettes. Drunken wonders whilst completely out of control. The Nanking Massacre whilst we cry over misplaced words. The places I should never have set foot in. The lovers I let down whilst too submerged with my own pointless grief. Writers block. Lifeless daydreams.… Read more

  • Blood and Stars

      There was an eclipse as I stood outside work pretending to water some dead flowers. Cloudy skies and people taking photographs on their phones. A rock of ages casting its shadow on me knowing the moment was already a memory. It was as if I were looking back from a time I had no… Read more